Bill 60 - A love letter to Quebec

Love Letter to Quebec

The government of Quebec is introducing Bill 60/Charter of Quebec Values.  The proposed Bill is going to ban wearing religious symbols such as turban, Kippa, Hijab in public sector jobs.

Dear Sweetheart,
Hope you are doing well. Twenty two years ago we fell in love with each other at the first sight.  We honeymooned for years until you slapped me with divorce. I begged for a bilateral dialogue, but to decide our fate you called for the referendum on October 30, 1995.  Although we failed to separate, our relationship never turned green.  Since then I have been searching for reasonable accommodation in your heart with frozen tears in my eyes.  I wholeheartedly tried to build bridges with your family but your security guards and office bearers shamelessly asked for kickbacks. 
Your latest “value” preposition regarding my turban is shocking.  While watching “The English Patient” you had shared with me your gratitude towards the turbaned Sikh soldiers that stood between your great grandpa and death during the Second World War.   
I hate when I see our neighbors making fun of your ‘values’.  Since we separated in 1995 we got poorer and poorer.  Our next door neighbor has been taking advantage of our situation.  Now he is secretly offering a job to our hijab wearing family nurse in his hospital.  If she leaves, who will take care of your ailing grandma?
Is it true that our old Kippa wearing family doctor is being sent to an exile?  His daughter who collected close to million dollars for the cause of breast cancer and his son, who has been a die-hard volunteer at Sun Youth, are also leaving with their dad. I know due to your deteriorating eyesight, you are unable see the tearful send-off being given to him by all of our common friends.  Why don’t you try some different eye drops? Use the one made from Lake Ontario. This may bring a positive change to your vision.
Hon, I am extremely worried about your own health.  After all you are my first love.  I fear you will soon need a bypass surgery as your arteries are blocked with corrupt cholesterol plaque.  The poisonous values charter posted on your front door is nothing but a brain tumor that may need to be treated with chemo.  As a precaution, please start eating a ‘balanced’ vegetarian diet.  It can effectively detox your brain and avoid any side effects.
I am sorry to say, but the road going to your house is full of pot holes. The concrete from that century old bridge between our houses is falling off.  Your uncles and aunts are taking away all the money kept for repairing the roads and bridges.  On financials matters, you managed to take away all the pennies that I saved when Ottawa lowered the GST. God knows where the money is going!  Even our uncle from Ottawa is complaining about your demands of disproportionately higher equalization payments.

The promises you had made when we were sailing in the waters of St. Lawrence, are dying a slow death like Kyoto Protocol.   However, I have been doing my part and have become fluently bilingual and Bill 101 compliant. I understand you are still unhappy with me over too much usage of English at home.  I try my best to always speak French except that in the summer, the migratory birds from the South do not understand French and I have to converse in English or Spanish. After you forced Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) to become Poulet Frit Kentucky (PFK), I paid a lot of money to the language experts to translate my name.  Unfortunately they couldn’t find the compatible noun in the French language.  Let me know if you know one.

I thought you will offer compliments to me for over exceeding your expectations. On the contrary, you are now raising objections about my clothes.  Only God knows what is going to be your next demand?  I fear it could be anything like; sleep with open eyes, sneeze in French, impose ban on the curry powder, new police organization to enforce poutine in the restaurants, etc.  Isn’t it a systematic way to keep me away from your elite camp?

Do you think if I stop wearing my turban all these problems will disappear? As Thomas Friedman wrote that the world in 21st century has become flat.  No cultural barrier can divide the global population. Sweetheart, let us also break our Berlin Wall and celebrate the colorful East-West fusion in the spirit of making this planet both beautiful and bountiful.

(Thanks to Suburban Montreal for publishing this article)